Tomorrow we make the final payment to our contractor. That means it’s time for a real mortgage.
Here’s a re-cap of our past experience with our bank (affectionately called “Hakuna Matata Federal Credit Union”).
From January 26

…our bank put the wrong amount on the loan. Lame. And too late to fix it today. Better luck tomorrow.
(2 points go to Ace telling us that we were about to give him too much money and -2 points from the bank for saying it didn’t matter.)

From March 29

On Thursday Ace told us he was requesting a draw. We had about a week of delays in the first draw, so we wanted to be on top of things this time. On Friday, he got the money.
Nice expediting, but wasn’t I supposed to sign something? Wasn’t I supposed to see something? Like, the amount? I called them today and low and behold, they did need my signature, and they didn’t have it. They faxed a request for like $XX,XXX.XX (insert a respectable year’s salary in there) for me to authorize.

From May 10

Speaking of rates and loans, Hakuna Matata Federal Credit Union, has continued to be the weak link in this project. They tried to send our bills to the construction site for months. Even if they had spelled the street name correctly, there was no mailbox there. Maybe they could have tried sending the bills to the same address they send our bank statement to instead of threatening to lower our credit rating for non-payment.
When our bill finally arrived, it was pathetically marked up in ballpoint pen. Final payment was authorized via second hand voicemail (long story). I really wonder if they have ever done one of these loans before.

On Monday the bank did the final inspection. The “Inspector” opened the front door without knocking, took two photos and asked Christiane where the freaking deck was. The guy didn’t even go upstairs.
So, how do you think it will go? Smooth sailing?
In fact the poo was launched this afternoon. It will hit the fan tomorrow. No one is safe. Run for your lives.